Sometimes I don't feel like a Christian anymore

Sorry guys that I haven't kept up on my blog but here is my post.

My house is totally depraved and God is not even in the picture, much less in the center. I just had to go through a challenging night at my house and my father twisted my mother's arm and it was just horrible. And when I am at home I am questioning whether I am a true Christian because of all of this. I sure don't feel regenerate as the fruit of the Spirit of love in the midst of people who are unlovable seems impossible.

But then again there is the good news.... feelings can come and go but the Holy Spirit does not. And so I am grateful that the Word of God and His promises to me in His Word and especially in Romans 8 and eternal and certain. I now pray that I can keep up the trial of being semi-separated from my EBC brothers and sisters in Christ and that I can truly display the gospel in the midst of a totally depraved battleground.

A Word of Prayer to my Heavenly Father

I am so grateful that I can talk to You directly where I am now and not having to go to Jerusalem to offer a sacrifice to do so. Thank You Christ that You made this a reality for me!

I know that You want to give me amazing You-glorifying relationships at EBC and I ask You to give me a trust in Your absolute sovereignty over these relationships, that is, Your Word is final on this. Promise me future grace and rewards in the life to come and in these relationships now as motivation to continue to shine the gospel and to have faith working in love in the midst of a dark environment. My father may have disowned me as a son but I know You have not even if I do not feel it all the time so God please remind me of this reality and just keep me pressing towards my desire for my parents to worship You and that my joy would be in their joy in You!

In Your Son's Name, Amen!

Longing for future grace and rewards to come
and beautiful relationships the way that I am...
Kevin Chu!